Face it, none of us ever want to end up in a nursing home but sometimes we have no choice.

When I was in college, I worked as a night orderly on the intensive care ward of the top-rated nursing home in town. The facility was clean and always treated the residents with dignity and care. Of course, I dealt with the worse cases in intensive care but the memories are still vividly with me today 50 years later. I recall back then saying that I would rather die than find myself in a nursing home in my later years. Now that I’m 66, I still don’t ever want to find myself in a nursing home.

My parents ended up in an assisted living facility but eventually my dad needed more care than my mom could give him and he ended up their intensive care center which was basically a nursing home associated with the facility they were living at.

I was thankful that my sister lived near them and took care of all of the arrangements since I live over 1800 miles away. When she sought a place for mom and dad, she looked at a number of assisted living facilities and settled on one based partially on what their insurance would cover and their savings could pay for but also on their reputation for caring for the people there.

Like it or not, we may not have a choice to put a loved one in a nursing home or something similar. Worse yet, our loved ones may have no alternative to put us in a nursing home someday.

So, what are the things you should look for when considering a nursing home?

Other than the dictates of one’s insurance and finances, here are 5 factors to consider.

1. Does the facility make it all about each resident? A good facility may have all of the bells and whistles, modern onsite medical healthcare facilities, home-style décor but if they don’t treat every resident as a person, not a condition, then the facility has failed. Barbara Resnick, a professor in the department of organizational systems and adult health at the University of Maryland School of Nursing and past president of the American Geriatrics Society explains:

“It’s all about the love. It can be a million-dollar place with the newest renovations, but if there is no love, it’s not a home.”

“The staff should be happy, and if the staff isn’t happy, you have a problem. Either you love working with older adults or you don’t. And if you don’t, it doesn’t make a happy home.”

2. Do residents get to make choices? One of the common complaints of many nursing home residents is that they are treated like they are in a hospital where everything is dictated to them by the staff instead of actually interacting and listening to them and allowing them to make some decisions.
3. Are there enough nurses and professionals on staff? Many nursing homes may have a resident nurse who runs a staff of help that could care less. When something happens, it’s not always properly taken care of, or there aren’t any qualified professionals on staff to handle the situation.
4. Are their visiting hours flexible or rigid? Many family members have to work and cannot always visit during normal visiting hours. They also refuse to allow family members to stay overnight but if someone comes into town and wants to spend time with a loved one or dear friend, they should be able to spend the night.
5. What kind of activities are offered? Just because some people are placed in a nursing home doesn’t mean they have given up on doing things. They still need a number of activities and interactions with others and things to occupy their time. A nursing home should not treat them as if they are prisoners to be kept in their rooms with nothing to do.

Selecting a nursing home is never an easy decision but if it becomes necessary, hopefully these five tips will help you make that decision.