Should This 10-Year-Old Take Her Mother’s Place?

Should This 10-Year-Old Take Her Mother’s Place?

A working mom was nervous to start a new stage in her career.  Her family shared those concerns. This mom took to Reddit to share how her parents’ and in-laws’ opinions about changing her family dynamic angered her.

The mom explained that she accepted a new job at the end of the year that requires her to travel twice a month (when travel becomes safe again.) Before accepting, she talked out this decision with her husband, who is permanently working from home during the Covid-19 pandemic. The couple was confident they could handle this change, and made sure their children, a 10-year-old girl and a 4-year-old boy, were aware of the changes.

The couple’s parents were not so comfortable. Both sets of grandparents want the 10-year-old daughter to step up and do more housework to replace her mother during her absence.

The grandparents expressed their desire for the daughter to take over, despite the dad being more than comfortable taking on more housework while his wife is away. Mom decided to ask Reddit whether she was misreading the situation or if the rest of them were in the wrong.

“With my job change, I now work 45 minutes away (1.5 hour round trip), and will be expected to make national and international trips (world permitting) on a bi-monthly basis. My husband also worked full time about half an hour away from home, however following lockdowns, his company switched to WFH permanently, so we converted a space into an office and he now works there. I’m posting because we’ve run into an issue with our families. They’re all worried that my job change is going to negatively impact our family life overall,” she explained. My husband now working from home was the main reason I applied for the job, and we discussed extensively the changes it would bring. He is perfectly happy with the few alterations he would have to make (eg. cooking every family meal, whereas before we did an equal share). However, like I said, our parents are all worried.”

The mom continued, “We visited my parents last weekend, and my mother wouldn’t let my daughter go off and play with her brother until she’d washed all the dishes, despite her volunteering to help cook (of her own free will) earlier on in the day.”

“When I stepped in and said that she could go, my mother was annoyed, and said that my daughter needed to quickly learn how to do things like clean and cook, since she’ll be the one ‘in charge’ with me gone,” the mom said.


Do you think this couple’s 10-year-old daughter should take her mom’s place, or do you think the Dad should take responsibility?

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