Do you remember when people just died with the same face they were born with? Lol, how did humanity survive such a dystopian world free of botox and fillers and vagina excrement face cream sold by Gwyneth Paltrow?

Yes, cancer still kills 600,000 people a year and our best answer for safe sex is strapping a balloon on your johnson, but the cosmetic surgeons on TLC’s Botched can turn you from reprehensible to protein-tea-selling-influencer in the time it takes you to say ‘Is that really Khloe Kardashian?’

I hope Khloe Kardashian doesn’t have a Face ID security on her iPhone… pic.twitter.com/qUlmNiXjIq

— Taskmaster (@justlvngmybstlf) May 23, 2020

No shame in it. If I had the disposable income, I’d fix my spooky face, by a Harley, grow a pony tail, and leave my wife.

Kellyanne Conway is the latest public figure to undergo the Benjamin Button treatment and now, at 53 years young, looks like the sorority sister in college who wouldn’t return my texts. GLOW UP!

People are stumped by Kellyanne Conway’s new look https://t.co/foz3xTTQ0u pic.twitter.com/NbuKqlNCUv

— New York Post (@nypost) June 18, 2020

The way y’all bullied KellyAnn Conway into getting plastic surgery 😂🤣😂🤣 pic.twitter.com/NxspHQsxct

— delonté 𖧵 (@dilemmv) June 17, 2020

The White House counselor has endured countless insults about her pre-surgery appearance, including “Crackhead Barbie,” a jab from the fingers of the far-left whose hearts only bleed for those on their team.

If not, head for cover.

pic.twitter.com/045RDv1rqv

— oliviayz (@chp1mp) June 18, 2020

Remind me never to try to improve my physical insecurities by employing the miracles of modern medicine. Sheesh.